How to Have Fun Dating
After my year off—to get happy. I knew it was time to start dating.
My goal was not to be a single mom. I knew I didn’t want to do it alone. I wanted a husband- a partner to share it with. I’d already made my list of what I wanted. So I decided to put a profile up on match.com and start the dating process. I’m not going to lie, in the beginning it was terrifying. And I was also very naive. I remember actually thinking that my very first date might be ‘the one.’
Do you remember the Dr. Seuss book, Are You My Mother? The newly hatched baby bird goes looking for it’s mother. In his search he asks a hen, a kitten, a dog… if each one is his mother. Well, that was me in the beginning. Are you my husband? . . . It left me exhausted. If the date was clearly not a match, I felt really let down and deflated.
So what changed? How did I turn this around? How did I actually start having fun dating?
I decided to take a law of attraction approach and these concepts made a huge difference in my dating experience. I used an Abraham-Hicks approach, and I decided to have a more lighthearted attitude about how I viewed dating. I thought about my dates with a fun and open-minded attitude. Instead of going on a date- secretly hoping this would be my future husband- I thought of the date as simply someone I was going to have dinner with. Similar to when I would go out with my girlfriends. I didn’t stress. I’d go to have fun. I used this same attitude. So much less pressure. The concept was to just keep my attitude easygoing and open.
Abraham explained the law of attraction in this way. Being in a relaxed and happy state- allows the law of attraction to bring what you’re wanting. The reason for this is that when you’re truly relaxed and easygoing about the guys you're meeting—you’ll attract those same relaxed and easygoing guys. If you're scrutinizing your date to see if he’s going to be your dream relationship—then the guys that you attract will also be scrutinizers—scrutinizing you. By having a relaxed attitude about dating and genuinely looking forward to going on the date for the fun of it- in your happy and relaxed attitude, you’re a vibrational match to what you really want in a relationship. When that’s your attitude (vibration)—the Universe will more quickly match you up with, your perfect partner.
If you're feeling nervous and worried about finding someone, or if you're worried that the he'll like you while you don’t feel the same way about him- then you're a vibrational match to, and attracting, the very things you don't want. And that’s what you manifest. If you go on a date and the guy is clearly not the man of your dreams, but you have a fun anyway, because you went into it with an easy going attitude- you stay in the vibration of attracting what you want. But if you’re on a date and not having a good time, because you can tell he’s not right for you, or you’re worried that he’ll be sad because you can tell he likes you and your feelings are not mutual- then you’re not in the vibration of attracting what you want. You’re blocking what you want and attracting more like him. Find ways to down play anything negative and try to feel good and make the best of it right now.
You want to look for ways to have fun and feel good, even before you meet the man of your dreams . . . in order to meet the man of your dreams. So I followed this approach to dating.
I’d think things like-
I’m having fun meeting new people.
I can always find some common ground and have a good time.
If it’s not a match- it’s one date, no big deal.
So then, not the “perfect guy”- I still had fun. I got more clarity on what I wanted. When I started feeling more positive—guess what happened… I started attracting fun and interesting guys. Our conversations were easy and relaxed. We could laugh about all of it. They weren’t needy or desperate- because I wasn’t. I didn’t take it so seriously, and it got easier and easier. I was having a lot of fun.
And then when I least expected it (at my high school reunion) … I met my now husband.
